Black and Blue Friday with some Mace in your Face

I have been a Cyber Shopper since the beginning of “computer time”. Every year ,when they were younger, my kids would put their Christmas Wish Lists on actual website wish lists. I would then later submit the orders (when they were not around of course) and waited for the packages to arrive at the house. Upon arrival their gifts were then wrapped and hidden. Easy shmeezy!

Now, that they are older, they each send me a wish list folder that I download onto my desktop. Each of their folders contain files with a multitude of highlighted links. These links take me to the particular websites that offer each item they’ve requested. This works quite well for all parties involved. Still easy shmeezy!

Let me now share with you my one and only Black Friday experience.

About 11 years ago when Black Friday was in it’s relative infancy, me and my friend thought it would be a great idea to wake up at 3AM in the morning and check out what we thought we’d been missing. We were motivated by the huge advertised sales on toys. Yes, toys for the kids. Our first and most important shopping destination would be Toys-R-Us because they were offering the newest Gameboy at an unbelievable price. Not to mention the cost of Gameboy games back then was quite expensive, but at these prices we could get them the game system and a few games to boot.

We arrived at 5AM in order to be there when the doors opened. We just KNEW that we were getting that Gameboy! We were so excited, elated even.We made into the store at about 5:15am. The lines were not really that long and everyone seemed civilized. Off we went running towards the electronic games department. Unfortunately for us, our big smiles soon turned upside down into huge frowns upon hearing  that they had all sold out. In fifteen minutes? Really? We both looked at each other with that “what do we do now?” look.

Frustrated and disappointed, we decided to go to the mall. We both ended up scoring big at one of the toys stores there, that has since gone defunct. We were so very proud of ourselves. The end.

I had then decided that all in all, it was just not worth the huge hassle and Cyber Monday was what I would continue to do. Cyber Christmas shopping was now deemed a tradition for me.  Therefore, this ended up being the very first and last time I ventured out into the abyss of Black Friday.

Fast forward to the last couple of years or so, including this one, 2011. Boy have things changed. Changed for the worse. Yes there were lines back then, but not like today. Yes, there were sell outs all over the place back then, but now, in order to get a jump on these sales,shoppers start lining up at any one of the big chain stores the night before Black Friday.  And what night before does this day land on? Thanksgiving.  It gets earlier and earlier each year. This results in  longer lines filled with impatient and tired people. So much so, that crimes of endangerment and in some cases homicide are carried out by stampeding masses or angry shooters (to name a few). These crimes  are now common place and at some stores, even expected. You can tell by the number of police cars parked in the parking lots of these stores. The more cars, the more dangerous activity is anticipated.

Every year brings about a new horrific crime against what I’ll just refer to as the “line people”. It’s as though society is becoming desensitized  to this type of behavior. This year, the newest offense is Mace in the Face. What has become of us? Really?

Think about it. These “line people” supposedly spend the day before sitting around the table sharing a meal in gratitude, only to get up and leave to go stand in line. To stand in line for hours upon hours just to get “the deal”. The dark and cold do not even seem to bother them. It’s what they do. Everything else is just forsaken. Their patience, humanity, and grace (if they had any to begin with) all falls by the wayside. For some, it is quite obvious that they have never, in their lives, possessed any of these fine qualities. So, for them, there is no far-reaching going on.

This all makes me ill just thinking about it. Something really needs to be done. Rules and regulations should be put in place( and followed) for the safety of others. Maybe even a federal law named in remembrance for one of the “line people” who has been killed in action! Oh wait, that is not gonna happen anytime soon. Congress is too busy arguing over every single thing that it brought up for debate. They are all useless.

Ok, please forgive me. I just got sidetracked for a moment. To continue on….

And why do regulations need to be put forth you ask? Because most of these “line people” are basically inept and ignorant with an average IQ of about 60, with no behavior skills to be found. So they must be told/ordered how to behave.

The reason for all this chaos the we call Black Friday?  The big corporations who by the way have no souls, are feeding the public with all of this hype for the deal so their sales go up up up and their share holders’ appetites for huge profits are temporarily satiated. Meanwhile the poor retail worker  has to basically put their life on the line for minimum wage. Not to mention that they have to start working at Midnight. Do they care? The simple answer is “No”. Nor will they ever.

With all this being said, you will find me at my computer on Cyber Monday and thereafter throughout the Holiday Shopping Season. I will have a hot cup (or pot) of coffee in one hand while pointing and clicking away with the other . Christmas music will be playing in the background while my lists turn into copy and printed confirmation orders.  I will put those orders in a folder and check each one off as they arrive at their ultimate destination (all our relatives live in other states).

And this, my friends, is the least stressful and most efficient way to conquer the Christmas Shopping Monster and the best way to avoid all the black and blue marks or mace in your face.

I will close this post by hoping that all of your purchases this Holiday Season be happy and stress free ones! Oh yeah, and at the best  prices available 🙂